Bella

Finley and I stayed up late watching a movie. Often when that happens, I regret the choice when the movie is over, and I look at the time. But not this time.

We watched Bella, a beautiful movie based on a true story. It was more like a good book than a lot of the movies we see, there was symbolism, foreshadowing and character development. And like all my favorite movies, I had to question things about myself and wrestle with God. I don't want to go into detail and give the movie away, but Finley and I both recommend it.

Tutu

Call for Appointments

Finley fell down the stairs a couple of weeks ago, then he fell again this weekend. Combined with the stress of redoing the house, he has had a stiff neck and back ever since. He is going to the chiropractor, massuse and getting many massages at home. Norah has starting rubbing Daddy's "back ouchie." This morning she enlarged her client base.

Chamomille

Norah has started drinking tea with me in the morning - Chamomille Lemon. Here is her first go. She even held the pose for me while I went to get the camera.

Big Mommy

This is "Big Mommy." If you squeeze her wing, she sings and jumps. We don't do that. Norah used to really like listening to Big Mommy, until Big Mommy fell and bumped her head while singing.

Norah calls any singular animal or person, "Mommy." I love it! I am honored to be so dear to her. If there is a second entity, it is Norah or Daddy, depending on size. And if there are three, we are all included.

To completely change gears:

Let me start with my defense. Norah has pneumonia, so we had Ramen noodles for lunch. Could there be anything more comforting or appeasing to an illness-induced picky eater?

I eat mine with chopsticks, using a twirling trick I learned from a college roommate. Norah wanted to use chopsticks. She quickly dropped one but was not deterred. She took many one noodle "bites" with one stick.

Being White in America

About a year ago Ben Parkinson of Fellowship Memphis gave a sermon called "Being White in America".  I recently listened to this sermon, and it has had a tremendous impact on me.  I encourage all followers of Christ to listen to it.  It is about one hour long.  Click here to listen.  I would also love to hear (or read) your comments.  Thank you so much.

Through Norah's Eyes

Norah looked at my wedding portrait the other day. She told me I looked pretty ("Mommy pretty") then commented that I had a "towel" on my head. I love getting to see things from her perspective.

And, my hcg levels are under 2!!

hcg

My hcg levels are at 23!!!

I go back next Monday.

Funny Norah

Three times today Norah has made comments that have made me laugh and fear that I am not treasuring my time with her enough.

1) Today was puppets at church. I asked Norah what they talked about.

Norah: (to) Shh, be quiet

2) This afternoon Finley and I were carrying our tree out to the curb (yep, it's mid-January).

Norah: My help, too. Manatee go bye, bye.

She ran to help Finley carry the base.

Norah: Thank you Daddy, help me (as if she were doing the heavy lifting)

3)Then this evening, Finley and Norah went to visit Fin's dad and step-mom. They entertained Norah while Finley studied. I scrapbooked and looked at kitchen design books. Before they left, Pap gave Norah a pear to take home, told her to carry it with both hands and be careful.

Norah: (coming to me carefully cradling the pear) Pear careful, Thank you Pap, Thank you LuLu, Pretty pear, Green

We discussed the pear at length.

Me: Norah it's time to go to bed. Let's put the pear in special place on the counter.

Norah: No. (adamant) Pear upstairs.

Finley and I look at each other.

Me: Okay, the pear can come upstairs.

She carefully carries the pear upstairs with two hands. The pear reads books with us, passes between us via Norah and receives much conversation. Then it's time to pray.

Norah: Thank you pear. Thank you Mommy. Thank you Mommy hold pear. Thank you Daddy hold pear. Thank you Vicki-Grampa. Thank you Mama-PePaw. . . Pear Turn.

So I said a prayer that would make any pear proud. Thankfully she agreed that the pear should not sleep in her bed. So, it is sitting on her chair-side table. Slightly gouged. Waiting for tomorrow.

Merediths

Thank you Georgia, Kurt and Carter for coming over and sharing some soup!  We sure miss you guys.  Norah will be telling us about baby Carter for weeks.  I can hear it now, "Baby Carter play Norah.  Baby Carter eat mouth.  Baby Carter take nap."  

Update

I got my blood levels back yesterday; my hcg dropped to 131.  It was the doctor's best case senerio.  We are very happy!!  I go back next Monday.

Hydatiform Mole, Happy Birthday Finley

Today is Finley's birthday.  He got presents in bed and a breakfast to order.  We took Norah to LuLu and Cap's so we could have a date.  

And then we got a call from the doctor, on Saturday, not a good sign.  He told us that he got the results back from the tissue we miscarried on Monday, and it was a Molar Pregnancy.  The odds are 1 / 1000.  I've since learned that a Molar Pregnancy is when a sperm fertilizes an empty egg (resulting in 1 set of chromosomes) or two sperm fertilize an egg (resulting in 3 sets of chromosomes); neither senerio leads to baby.  But the placenta grows, and there is a 20% chance of cancer developing.  This cancer is almost always easily treated with chemo.  But I'll have to be monitored weekly for months.  The earliest we can try for another baby is 6 months to a year.  The waiting is what I am most disappointed about.  We wanted our children to be closer together in age.

I am impressed that our doctor called on a Saturday.  He is talking about bringing in a specialist and was planning on doing research before he sees us again on Monday (he is a fertility specialist and said he doesn't see a lot of Molar Pregnancies).

I am praying about being open to God's plan for us.  I am encouraged that the miscarriage was somewhat random.  This is our 3rd one in a little over a year (actually 2 true miscarriages and 1 chemical pregnancy), and we were getting scared that something was wrong.  We were planning to move forward on genetic testing.  But it seems likes bad luck (this is hard for me to find words for because I don't really believe in luck).

Drive In

My days have been sad since our last miscarriage on Monday, that makes 2 official miscarriages and one "chemical pregnancy".   I don't have much more to say about that now.  But joy is peppered in thanks to Finley and Norah.   Here, Norah got her baby and pushed her car in front of the TV to watch "Ah Ha".

The Grinch

I have mixed feelings about Christmas lights disappearing.  Norah loves them.  Loves them!  Every time we get in the car she asks to go look at lights.  "Ooh, so pretty!"  Then she discovered an inflatable Grinch at Izzy's.  And every time we got in the car she asked to see "ights" and then "minch . . . minch, look minch, minch . . ."  We have sat outside 2 homes with car windows open and danced in the parking lot of a closed restaurant on Christmas night - all to be near the Grinch.  I am happy to say that the last inflatable Minch has been deflated tonight!  

Goodbye, until next year, dear Cheermonger.

Christmas Dress #2

Our sweet little girl

Grandma and PePaw came to visit for a few days before and after Christmas.  This picture was taken before church on Sunday.  "MeMa" is wearing a hat because her hair broke/burned at her last visit to the color salon (a comically common occurrence with MeMa).  

Christmas Dress #1

No House Yet

I am frustrated! In fact, I have a stack of frustrations, but I will only go into one here. We just heard back from the owners of a house we made 2 offers on. They countered more than we can afford - again. We decided to move on twice, and both times the "new" house we decided to try to buy had just sold. I was thinking God was setting us up for a story that would display His great provision. But there is no such conclusion, yet. I was reminded of Daniel 3, where Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were called before the king.

"the God we serve is able to save us from it . . .O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods"

I know that we are not facing a fiery furnace, but I was getting used to God pulling through in amazing ways. But, even if He does not, I will still serve Him. And I imagine that is just the lesson for me to learn.

Tree

Norah picked out our Christmas Tree this year. We went to Cantrell Gardens, and she chose a 4 ft tree. Finley says it looks like the Angel, a gift from his Grandmother, is squatting on the tree. I am blessed to have ornaments that span my life, are gifts from friends and family, or are souvenirs from trips. Each one is a connection to a happy or hard time. After Finley and I got married, I thought I wanted a coordinated, more formal tree. That desire lasted about a year, and we don't even open those boxes anymore but for filler (which we did not need on this year's petite tree).
So we took to placing ornaments on the tree. Christmas is so much more fun with Norah!! People have said that Christmas more magical with children, I get it now. But back to the story. . . I was telling Norah about the ornaments, "these are from your first year," "this is from when Mommy was born," "this is your picture as a newborn." Her interest seemed to wane quickly. But when Nana and Dow came over, she took them to the tree and proudly told them about it, including ornament descriptions. Then she came to her newborn picture and instructed Nana and Dow to, "kiss baby Norah".

Prayer

We have a regular bedtime routine: bath, brush teeth, read 3 books, I pray, Finley prays, Norah gets a chance to pray, cuddles, milk, rocking.
When it's Norah's turn to pray, she has been quiet for a moment and then said "amen."
Last night, she said her first prayer. She closed her eyes (and I prayed that God would help her). Then she said, "God . . . Nana, Dow . . . Grampa, Vicki . . . ? . . . Amen".
I was amazed at how God answered my prayer through hers. Our hearts swelled. She is getting it!!
I wonder if God gives extra attention to the subjects of a first prayer? : )

No Open It, Mommy

Today at lunch, I went to cut up a strawberry for Norah. She asked me to "no open it". So, I handed it to her whole. She proceeded to eat it, nibble by nibble, and ate it all - even the green stem. She didn't even make a grimace or funny face.